Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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