If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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