I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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