fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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