i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
