i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?