No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
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I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
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Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.