i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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