Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle