a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
