so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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