Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
