did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize