Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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