dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
love makes seman taste better
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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