Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
