Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
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Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
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Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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