You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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