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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize