I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
