he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
