That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Randomize
