Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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