they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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