what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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