just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
