tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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