Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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