if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I need to align my fucking chakras
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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