Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize