11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
