A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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