at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Success! We fucked roommates!
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