Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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