And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
