So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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