went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
