we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
