And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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