its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
These tits shall not be calmed
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
