Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
