I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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