We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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