You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize