I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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