Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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