worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
