People in love make me want to vomit
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
