I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face