Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I would do horrible things to your vagina.

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Prove it.

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(617): I would do horrible things to your vagina. (978): Prove it. http://tfl.nu/qld3

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(631): View more from New York

If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org

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(631): If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org http://tfl.nu/anvp

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(479): View more from Arkansas

he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha

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(479): he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha http://tfl.nu/2icp

Replies (19) Good night (962) Bad night (2117)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today

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(603): It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today http://tfl.nu/pqk1

Replies (10) Good night (4170) Bad night (469) Order T-Shirt
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(571): View more from Virginia

We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."

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(571): We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants." http://tfl.nu/wjgr

Replies (16) Good night (725) Bad night (3399) Order T-Shirt
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(905): View more from Toronto

when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college

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(905): when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college http://tfl.nu/ke7d

Replies (43) Good night (1220) Bad night (6185) Order T-Shirt
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(703): View more from Virginia

Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.

(202): View more from Washington, DC

New charity walk idea!

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(703): Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished. (202): New charity walk idea! http://tfl.nu/skxt

Replies (31) Good night (12993) Bad night (761)
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(340): View more from US Virgin Islands

well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt

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(340): well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt http://tfl.nu/yxfk

Replies (21) Good night (3293) Bad night (719) Order T-Shirt
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.

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(+44): At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever. http://tfl.nu/bxy4

Replies (17) Good night (8376) Bad night (749) Order T-Shirt
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(785): View more from Kansas

U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.

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(785): U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r. http://tfl.nu/crq7

Replies (4) Good night (2699) Bad night (993) Order T-Shirt
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"

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(978): Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?" http://tfl.nu/0wwp

Replies (20) Good night (6725) Bad night (897)
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(406): View more from Montana

He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night

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(406): He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night http://tfl.nu/scut

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(518): View more from New York

I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer

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(518): I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer http://tfl.nu/dafr

Replies (18) Good night (2085) Bad night (588) Order T-Shirt
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(815): View more from Illinois

One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.

(1-815): View more from Illinois

Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.

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(815): One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day. (1-815): Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar. http://tfl.nu/0cqf

Replies (8) Good night (1153) Bad night (474)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.

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(720): Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid. http://tfl.nu/ckk0

Replies (2) Good night (720) Bad night (142) Order T-Shirt

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