sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.