he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
