Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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