Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
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She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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