Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
