Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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