About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
