Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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