69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
