I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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