just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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