if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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