if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
