i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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