sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
