come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
