Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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