there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
