Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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