I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
tell me about the fingering
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