I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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