Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
