Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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