Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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