Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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