It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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