so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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