so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
how does that bad decision feel?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
