That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
